A playful quiz to see if your relationship could use a little support, spark, or strategy.
Please note that, while this quiz is based on Attachment Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, and Gottman Therapy principles, it is for self-reflective purposes only. It is not a couples therapy session.
Think you and your partner are totally in sync? Or are you running on empty? Take this quick quiz to find out if you’re a power couple or powered out. Let’s play!
1. When you’re stressed, does your partner usually:
A. Offer support and comfort.
B. Get flustered or avoid the situation.
C. Try, but often makes things worse.
2. Do you feel emotionally safe with your partner to bring up difficult topics?
A. Absolutely, I feel safe with my partner to show my emotions and have difficult conversations.
B. Sometimes. I hold back from discussing some sensitive topics.
C. Not really.
3. When your partner turns towards you trying to connect (a hug, a joke, a vent session), how often do you respond positively?
A. Most of the time. When my partner makes a bid to connect with me, I really try to I stop what I am doing and listen.
B. Occasionally.
C. Wait… what do you mean by “trying to connect”?
4. How would you describe your conflict style as a couple?
A. Calm, respectful, and solution-focused. We try to fight fair.
B. It depends on the day. Before or after coffee? If I’m “hangry”, anything goes.
C. Stormy with a side of silently sweeping it under the rug.
5. Do you know your partner’s “inner world” (fears, dreams, current worries)?
A. Yes, I feel like I know my partner deeply. If we were in a game show for couples, we’d win the gold medal for sure.
B. Sort of.
C. Not really.
6. How often do you intentionally express appreciation or admiration to each other?
A. Daily.
B. Sometimes.
C. Uh… does “not yelling” and “did you put the kids to bed” count?
7. After a fight, do you:
A. Repair quickly and reconnect.
B. Let it pass and move on silently, pretending it never happened.
C. Stay distant or resentful.
8. Do you feel secure in your partner’s love and commitment?
A. Yes, absolutely. I know I can count on my partner.
B. Wait, what did you hear?
C. I often feel unsure or anxious.
9. Do you and your partner make time for shared fun and play?
A. All the time—it’s our thing.
B. We try, but honestly, who has time for that?!
C. Only if it is scheduled six months in advance.
10 . Do you feel like you’re a team when it comes to tackling life’s challenges?
A. 100%—we have each other’s backs.
B. Sometimes, but sometimes it feels like our team is losing or like we are missing something.
C. It’s more like we’re in separate boats or rowing out of sync these days.
Bring out the calculator: what’s your score?
What do your answers say about the state of your closeness and connection?
- Mostly A’s? You’re running on relationship power. Keep it up.
- Mostly B’s or C’s? Take a deep breath. You might be feeling a little powered out. It feels like you can use some help and guidance to reconnect, refuel, and rekindle your emotional closeness.
I hope these questions have given you and your partner an outline of points to self-reflect and open up some conversation topics.
Seeking deeper support, spark, and strategy to connect with your partner? If you feel that something is “off” in your relationship, I encourage you to seek support sooner rather than later. A couples therapist can help you build (or rebuild) the bond that brought you together, and help it grow stronger than ever.
