To regift or not to regift?

Natalie Bergman, MA, RPsych
COUPLES THERAPIST

Let’s talk about rigifting.

This is a topic that comes up every Holiday season. I know many people who do it, but they feel ashamed and guilty for regifting something they got from a friend or close family member. To be completely open, I have a bunch of new unpacked stuff in my closet that I received last Christmas and never used, and now I am thinking, WHY not give these gifts a second life?

An Adam et al. study published in Psychological Science (2012) found that people who regift are way harder on themselves than they need to be. Regifters often worry that the original giver will feel hurt, offended, or downright betrayed. And guess what? Researchers found that gift-givers don’t care as much as you think. In fact, the study found that gift-givers are far less offended by regifting than regifters expect.

I feel that regifting is about giving gifts a second chance to bring joy. So, the next time the part of you has a hard time deciding whether to hold onto that fancy watermelon cutter you’ll never use, remember it’s okay to pass it along or donate to someone who is in need!

Regifting is an interesting topic that you can talk about with your partner. How do they feel about regifting? (Here’s hoping the watermelon cutter was not their gift to you!)

Adams, G. S., Gino, F., & Norton, M. I. (2012). The gifts we keep on giving: documenting and destigmatizing the regifting taboo. Psychological Science, 23(10), 1145–1150.
https://www.hbs.edu/ris/Publication%20Files/adams%20flynn%20norton_c9fcad2f-f390-4a39-a05a-65a6e16e681b.pdf

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does help us better understand to what our partner wishes for and needs in our relationship.

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