How long will it take to bring back
the spark to our relationship?
In this blog post, our couples therapist Natalie Bergman talks about this valid and important question.
Meet the author
Natalie Bergman, MA, RPsych
COUPLES THERAPIST
Meet the editor
Ana Hoepfner, BEc
COMMUNICATIONS
How many couples therapy sessions does it take to rebuild connection and trust in a relationship?
Couples often wonder: How long does couples therapy take?
This is a very valid and important question. You might also wonder: How many sessions are enough? How much more money do we have to put into therapy to feel connected? Will it ever work? Are we there yet?
There is no one right answer. The number of sessions that will be enough for you and your partner depends on many factors. For some couples I am working with, ten sessions is enough to spark the connection, and for some, it requires more time.
Schofield et al. (2012) found what matters in couple therapy is each partner’s own “readiness” to change, meaning that both partners need to be ready, as opposed to one spouse holding on to the belief that their partner must change, because they feel that they are themselves already a “perfect” partner.
Why do couples come to couples therapy?
Schofield et al. (2012) also looked at the reasons why couples come to therapy and found that the main reasons for accessing therapy are:
1. Major life transitions
Events such as getting married, having children, moving, or retiring can bring new dynamics into a relationship, creating stress that therapy can help navigate.
2. Crisis situations
Infidelity, financial struggles, or a partner’s mental health challenges frequently prompted couples to seek urgent help.
3. Avoiding separation or divorce
Therapy was often viewed as a last effort to save the relationship, with couples hoping to resolve issues before taking irreversible steps like separation or divorce.
If you are thinking about investing all this emotional and financial effort in couples therapy, you might wonder whether couples therapy is effective. Your next question might be:
In what ways does couples counselling improve a relationship?
Schofield et al. (2012) found significant improvements in relationship satisfaction, commitment, and mental health in both short-term (3 months) and long-term (12 months) post-intervention.
References
Schofield, M. J., Mumford, N., Jurkovic, D., Jurkovic, I., & Bickerdike, A. (2012). Short and long-term effectiveness of couple counselling: A study protocol. BMC Public Health, 12, 735. https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-2458-12-735
We encourage you to check in often with your partner
Don’t wait until a crisis comes to your home. Instead, we encourage you to check in regularly with each other, not just in the big moments, but also in everyday small moments. Ask them: “How is it feeling for you to be in our relationship?”
Periodically checking in with your partner and taking small steps to shift course when needed shows them that you care. It goes a long way towards preventing issues from growing critical down the road.
When checking in with your partner, did you find that your relationship could benefit from professional couples counselling?
Call our friendly Intake Team to book an appointment today.
