Wedding season brings a flood of emotions
At Couples Reconnect, we know that the wedding season (May through September) brings a flood of emotions — excitement, joy, and sometimes… unexpected stress.
Whether you’re newly engaged, attending a dozen weddings this summer, or reflecting on your own marriage, wedding season can stir up a lot under the surface.
Research from The Gottman Institute reminds us that lasting relationships aren’t built on the “perfect” wedding day — they’re built on small everyday moments of connection, trust, and emotional responsiveness.
In fact, Drs. John and Julie Gottman found that couples who regularly turn toward each other (in tiny, everyday ways) have much stronger marriages than those who just celebrate big milestones.
Why can the wedding season be tricky?
Seeing other couples celebrate can make you question your own relationship.
Also weddings might stir up memories — good and painful — from your own past.
Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), wrote that secure connection — feeling emotionally safe with each other — is the heart of lasting love, not perfect communication or grand romantic gestures.
In her words: “Love is not about flowers and chocolates. Love is a safe haven and a secure base.”
“Love is not about flowers and chocolates. Love is a safe haven and a secure base.”
— Sue Johnson, CM, PhD
Simple tips to reconnect during the wedding season
Whether you’re saying “I do,” or attending weddings, or just feeling the season stir things up, here are simple ways to reconnect from the relationship science:
- Skip the comparison game. No one else’s relationship is the standard. Build your story.
- Talk about dreams, not just chores. When’s the last time you dreamed out loud together? Even small dreams matter.
- Catch tiny moments of connection. That smile. That hand squeeze. Those “I see you” glances across a room. These small things = big love.
- Repair, repair, repair. Snapped at each other getting ready? Forgot the card for the wedding gift? Say sorry. Make it small again.
- Ask for help early. If you’re feeling stuck, you’re not broken — you’re growing. And good couples therapy can make the growth so much easier.
Final thought… Weddings are beautiful. But real love is built in the Mondays after.
It’s built in late-night talks, the messy kitchen dances, and the tiny brave moments when you say: “Hey… I’m here. Still choosing you.”
References
- Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
- Johnson, S. M. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Little, Brown Spark.
