Holiday gifts
In this blog post, our couples therapist Natalie Bergman talks about Holiday gift-giving in couples relationships.
Do you know how much couples typically spend on Holiday gifts?
Probably not. As humans, we often don’t want to face the cost of giving, as giving gifts makes us happy (Aknin et al., 2020).
Novotney (2022) explained that gift-giving is unique in how it activates reward pathways in the brain. Unlike receiving an award or winning money, which primarily triggers short-lived dopamine responses, gift-giving involves social interaction and releases oxytocin—a neuropeptide often referred to as the “cuddle hormone.” Oxytocin fosters feelings of trust, safety, and connection, making the reward of gift-giving more enduring.
Blair (2024) refers to Canada statistics that on average, we spend $650 on gifts during the Holiday season, and Canadians prefer to buy meaningful gifts for family and friends.
With Holiday gifts, it really is the thought that counts
What is more important than how much we spend, is our intent and its bid for closeness as expressed in the gift. A true gift from the heart is meaningful.
Of course, meaningful gifts take effort, time and attention – we need to “spy” and notice what our loved ones prefer and imagine being in their shoes to better understand what they would like to have. As far as spending money, Holiday presents do not really have to cost much, as a good gift can simply be something thoughtful that creates a memorable moment.
The gift of time, the gift of presence, the gift of caring — the compilation of small gestures, over time, make a big difference in a relationship.
Holiday budgeting can be a difficult topic for many couples
Are you budgeting for Holiday gifts? Finances can be a tricky conversation, as many couples avoid talking about money.
Avoiding the topic and sweeping it under the rug isn’t helpful, but you know what is? These tips to help you and your partner manage money conversations.
References
Aknin, L. B., Dunn, E. W., Proulx, J., Lok, I., & Norton, M. I. (2020). Does spending money on others promote happiness? A registered replication report. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 119(2), e15–e26.
https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000191
Blair N. (2024). Holiday spending Canada statistics. https://madeinca.ca/holiday-spending-canada-statistics/
Novotney, A. (2022, December 9). What happens in your brain when you give a gift? APA
https://www.apa.org/topics/mental-health/brain-gift-giving
