A therapy couch in a couples counselling room at Couples Reconnect.

Notes from the couples therapy room

A behind-the-scenes peek 

In this blog post, our couples therapist Natalie Bergman shares some of the surprising things that couples therapists often see.

Meet the author

Headshot of Natalie Bergman, Registered Psychologist and Certified Play Therapist

Natalie Bergman, MA, RPsych
COUPLES THERAPIST

Meet the editor

Ana Hoepfner

Ana Hoepfner, BEc
COMMUNICATIONS

Have you ever wondered what is going on
in couples therapy?

Here are some fun observations we want to share with you.

1. The crying couch.

One of the most common sights in couple therapy is the “crying couch.” It’s not a fancy piece of furniture—it’s the spot where partners discover their hidden tears. It’s a safe haven where emotions are honoured, and yes, tissues are always in stock.

Lest you think these are always sad tears, we’ll assure you that tears happen when strong emotions (of all kinds) come up. Crying with laughter, anyone?

2. The “I thought you knew” assumption.

Couples often find out that their partner doesn’t actually know what they thought was obvious. Painfully so.

For example: “I assumed you knew I wanted flowers on our anniversary!” And your partner had no idea.

3. The “I can’t read your mind” fact.

Mind-reading is not a superpower in the human world. Partners often assume their significant other knows exactly what they’re thinking. Our internal reasoning, which typically goes unsaid, goes something like this:
“If you knew me, and truly loved me, you would know”.

But your partner does not know. Nobody does – not even your therapist. Communication is key!

4. The “therapy lingo”.

Guess what?

Just like you see in movies and pop culture, we do love the special therapy words, like “attachment styles,” “underlying emotions,” and “safe haven”. And we use them for a reason – understanding these words makes relationships stronger.

5. The post-therapy ice cream ritual.

This is a true story!

After a tough couples therapy session, many couples have a ritual of treating themselves to ice cream. Because sometimes, talking about feelings and understanding each other better absolutely calls for sharing a couple of scoops of your favourite flavour.

Afterwards, dessert is optional.

Couples therapy is about discovering, understanding, and connecting in new ways.

It gets serious at times, but it’s also full of moments that make you laugh, cry, and grow closer together.

Ready to explore the benefits of couples therapy from our couch?

Call our friendly Intake Team to book an appointment and please have a seat.

We’ll be right with you.

Book a couples counselling appointment