A couple sit in a waiting room, facing away from each other. The man is sitting on the left chair, looking down and facing left. There is an empty chair in the middle. On the right, a woman is sitting on a chair, looking down and to the right.

Trust is Relationship “Glue”

Understanding trust in relationships

In this blog post, our team’s couple therapist, Natalie Bergman explains how Emotionally Focused Therapy helps couples rebuild trust.

Meet the author

Headshot of Natalie Bergman, Registered Psychologist and Certified Play Therapist

Natalie Bergman, MA, RPsych
COUPLES THERAPIST

Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.

Trust assures your partner is emotionally available, dependable, and committed to your well-being. However, trust can be fragile and easily broken, leading to feelings of insecurity and disconnection. When trust is compromised, rebuilding it is crucial for the relationship’s survival and growth. This is where Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can play a transformative role.

Understanding trust in relationships

Trust in a relationship is about more than just honesty; it’s about emotional safety. It means feeling secure enough to express your vulnerabilities, knowing that your partner will respond with care and empathy. When trust is strong, the relationship becomes a “safe haven”. When it’s broken, however, it can create a cycle of negativity and disconnection.

How Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps couples rebuild trust

Emotionally Focused Therapy focuses on repairing the emotional bond between partners, which is key to restoring trust. EFT helps couples:

1. Identify negative patterns

Recognize destructive cycles of interaction that erode trust, such as criticism, defensiveness, or withdrawal.

2. Access underlying emotions

Explore and express deeper feelings like fear or sadness that often drive these negative patterns.

3. Create new interactions

Develop new, positive ways of connecting where vulnerability is met with empathy, leading to stronger emotional bonds.

4. Strengthen emotional connection

As couples practice these new patterns, they rebuild trust by becoming more attuned and responsive to each other’s needs.

Beyond trust: intimacy and connection

EFT not only helps rebuild trust. It also deepens intimacy and connection.

Couples who go through EFT often find their relationship becomes stronger and more resilient, with a greater understanding of each other’s emotional needs.

Reference

Johnson, S. M. (2004). The practice of emotionally-focused couple therapy: Creating connection. New York: Brunner-Routledge.

Trust bonds

Each time our expectation that our partner will offer
comfort and caring in times of danger or distress is fulfilled,
our trust in them can grow.

Rebuilding trust is not easy, but it’s definitely possible.

Our couples therapists can guide you and your partner in rebuilding trust
using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) techniques.
EFT is an evidence-based approach to psychotherapy that has been proven effective by empirical, peer reviewed outcome research.

You can emerge from couples therapy with a connection
that is stronger than ever.

Book a couples counselling appointment